30 Top Stag Do Pranks Rated And Slated
Stag do pranks is a big thing when planning your stag party. Not a day goes by without someone turning up in a mankini or stripping someone and tying them to a lamp-post. As you can imagine we’re never out of employment tribunals but it’s worth it! Anyway, as the self-appointed experts of stag do pranke,we’ve put together 30 of the best stag do pranks and given you a run down of the pros and cons (don’t forget to see our Blue Peteresque legal warning at the end too).
1. The Smurf Date – The legendary tale of the stag party who hired a little person, all expenses paid, to take on a stag holiday, painted blue and attached to the stag, therefore resembling a smurf.
Pro – Little blue smurf!
Con – Drunkenly finding out the tragic back story of a drunken, chained dwarf.
2. The ‘Mankini’ – Popularised by Kazakhstan’s #1 export Borat, this less than subtle piece of beach wear has become increasingly popular.
Pro – “Haha, I can nearly see his piece!”
Con - “Oh dear, I can nearly see his piece!”
3. Viagra - Spiking a groom with Viagra and witnessing the impact is occasionally discussed as a possible prank. However, you need to be absolutely bloody mad to consider it as Viagra has proven fatal for people in the past. No one’s laughing when the groom dies of a pharmacologically-inspired heart attack and you get done for murder.
Pro – Groom gets massively erm, fiddly.
Con – Last night of freedom? Yes. Last night of life? No.
4. Hair Dye – Vain, self-aggrandizing grooms need putting in their place. Legend has it a dash of carefully distributed peroxide can do wonders for visible ageing.
Pro – The slow, dawning realisation of what’s happening to his hair.
Con – You will never be forgiven if he weds resembling Phillip Schofield.
5. Monkey Business – Coax your plucky pal into a full-sized gorilla outfit, gaffering his mouth and the seams, and leave him be in the middle of town, unable to communicate outside of a genuine monkey-style fashion.
Pro – He will befriend many children.
Con – Getting him in there! “Paul, come here for a second, step into this ape suit?”
6. Break a Leg – When the night inevitably climaxes with the groom passed out, budding medical students (or indeed, a real one if on hand!), can plaster up his leg and create an elaborate backstory of how it came to be broken.
Pro – His face of panic when he realises what’s happened.
Con – His face when he actually stands up and uses his working legs to chase you.
7. Roadside Human Cake (Unbaked) – Tying your groom to a fence or lamp post is so old hat nowadays. Add flour, eggs and cream for an extra taste factor.
Pro – He looks like an idiot.
Con – He may contract salmonella.
8. Kidnap Him – A more extreme-edged stag night prank, it’s not uncommon for a groom’s friends to employ somebody to kidnap the groom, throwing him in a car boot, the back of a van, anywhere really
Pro – At last, the chance to kidnap!
Con – Surely he won’t buy into this. Plus we’ve heard stories where the police have actually chased “joke” kidnappers and we all know how hilarious the police find things like this.
9. Giving him another sort of horn (an airhorn)– after a night of full on debauchery, your groom will likely turn into a less fragrant Cinderella, sleeping off the night. Best to get him up eventually. And you may as well make it good fun for you, so employ an airhorn to help pep him up.
Pro – His face.
Con – His fist. Also not suitable for anyone with a history of cardiac issues.
10. Hotel Trouble – Hotels offer any opportunity to metaphorically hold you upside down and shake the change out your pockets. Why not drop the groom in it by ordering him a particularly extravagant room service breakfast, littering the corridor with visiting escorts or simply hide the contents of the mini-bar to send him in a panic.
Pro – Winding up both the groom and management in one fell swoop.
Con – Getting asked to vacate the hotel “without a fuss.” Sleeping in a bin.
11. Knowing Me/Knowing UV – UV paint: the silent embarrassment. Amazing stuff, this. Write anything (filthy or incriminating, of course),and it’s only visible under the glamorous glow of a children’s arcade or a sleazy club. Do it when drunk, then let the embarrassment rollover.
Pro – Reliably irritating.
Con – Drunken handwriting likely to be illegible.
12. Facial Hair Shenanigans #1 – Moustache Madness. Everyone in the group attemps to grow their finest handlebar moustache in an Edwardian style, their elegant facial hair contrasting their obnoxious behaviour.
Pro – Everyone’s face: 15% funnier than usual.
Con – Froth on face.
13. Facial Hair Shenanigans #2 – ‘Pubestache’. We’re all almost entirely without standards here at Staggered, but even by our own standards this ‘shave and go’ idea of constructing the groom a beard out of the group’s private hair is surely a bit much?
Pro – It is outrageous.
Con – Pubes. On your face.
14. Customs Embarrassment – We shouldn’t really remotely joke about customs, but assuming you’re not dealing with narcotics, imagine what else you can (legally) smuggle in. Just because it’s credible by law doesn’t make it any less humiliating. For the hard of understanding we’re not talking about guns we’re talking about gigantic dildos.
Pro – Social/authoritarian embarrassment is the best kind.
Con – Some of these dudes carry guns…
15. Literal Brownies – We find it difficult to promote this here, so undeniably disgusting as it is, but it is, nonetheless a popular choice for stags. Unlike Viagra, laxatives are readily available,and will slip into anything. During the trip… before the flight home, etc. Don’t forget that misusing any kind of drug, even something that sounds harmless like a laxative, can have serious side effects so we’d definitely not recommend this one.
Pro – Ultimate childish embarrassment.
Con – Poo. Everywhere.
16. Male Stripper – Urgh, women, with their lovely curves and breasts and stuff. A female stripper is so old hat by now, surely? Why not opt for a teasing chap to entice and treat your groom. Perhaps even after that herbal Viagra… then there’s no denying it.
Pro – You might pick up some Hens after a free eyeful.
Con – Literal eye fulls.
17. Highbrow Eyebrow – Eyebrows are a notoriously useless part of your stupid face, so the groom doesn’t likely need his now does he?
Pro – The groom looks like he has localised alopecia.
Con – Lots of people have no eyebrows! It’s 2010, man!
18. Separate Stags – A long-running stag night prank legend is of the groom who was sent somewhere completely different to his chums, ie. He’s in New York, they’re in Berlin.
Pro – You can keep him updated nowadays on Twitter etc.
Con – After the initial hahahaha you’d probably just feel like a bunch of eejits.
19. Paintball Dress Up – Paintball! This popular activity is the rawest of sports, getting us back to our primitive nature as mere hunting men. So dress the Groom up as a rabbit or a duck.
Pro – Difficult for a groom to escape in a furry suit.
Con – Potential to accidentally shoot a real rabbit. Especially a massive one. Dry cleaning bill for giant duck costume is gonna cost you.
20. Face Paint – Esteemed painting of the face! Make use of the groom’s skin and daft eyes by disguising him as a mime, a tiger, or even a mermaid.
Pro – It’s nice when a mermaid or an animal gets drunk and tells you you’re the best mate in the world.
Con – You may need secure rope to ensure this.
21. Fake Tan – The more socially acceptable form of face painting, fake tanning is the weird exercise in orange that can look ridiculous at the best of times, but for added insanity, tan half the groom’s face. It’s double the fun at half the cost!
Pro – You look like you’ve been somewhere sunnier than Scunthorpe.
Con – Your stag may be perceived as comparatively ‘exotic’.
22. The Lampost Tie – Tying the groom to a lamp post is a fairly predictable pursuit, but effective as ever. Ensure he has no clothes to avoid robbery, but to avoid prosecution, keep him partially clothed at least. A sparkly thong is this season’s must!
Pro – Easy to utilise as an end of night meeting point. Nobody will forget.
Con – Purchasing a sparkly thong. Making the groom put it on.
23. False Rumours – It’s vitally important to keep your groom on his toes even if in a club. He can talk to all the girls and boys he wants. Just let them know he’s absolutely, impossibly, definitely gay.
Pro – Any girls he thinks he might score with are massively mislead.
Con – Boys might like him too much. You might get jealous.
24. The Blindfold -Your stag is going to be desperate to get as rat-arsed as possible over the night or weekend, but as his best mate, who’s to say you can’t be in charge and blindfold him for the entire weekend? It’s the ultimate final test of friendship to take him out blind (and allows you to make loads of “blind” drunk jokes – hahahahahaha, whatever).
Pro – Total control.
Con – You’re missing the pure fear in his eyes when plays ‘pint or piss’. Oh well.
25. Viva Las Blackpool – If you’re organising the Stag’s celebration in secret, the occasional hint to suggest he’s going to somewhere exotic – such as Vegas – will make it all the funnier when you pack onto a National Express coach to Blackpool. For an especially funny double bluff, fly somewhere cool and cheap from Blackpool Airport.
Pro - You can still have loads of fun in Blackpool.
Con - It’ll rain. Unlike Vegas.
26. Future-Wife-Along – Convince the plucky stag that his dearest beloved will be accompanying you along on the trip, perhaps having her even make an inappropriate appearance if she’s cool with it and you’re near home. Just don’t let her enjoy it enough to want to stay.
Pro - It’s reassuring for her.
Con - Even as a stag night prank – massively unnerving.
27. Play on his Fears - Dogs, snakes, heights, sweetcorn. Incorporate any of these larks into the staggery. Or at least pretend to. Or actually do it! We’ll let you decide how cruel you are.
Pro - You’re helping overcome his fears.
Con - You’ll feel pretty bad if he actually starts to cry.
28. Old School Tomfoolery – Give him a sustained selection of old school trickery at every turn. Whoopie Cushions, Snapping Chewing Gum and fake Dog Turds can be all be on the agenda.
Pro - Will trigger a unique cocktail of emotions – nostalgia mixed with annoyance.
Con - What are you, 12?!
29. Invite an old school enemy – or at least someone you know he can’t quite stand, before making an excuse to get rid of him.
Pro - He won’t expect it, especially if you act completely unaware of the hate.
Con - Bit mean on the enemy. Equally, could be awkward if you find out he hates him as he ran over his kitten, not just because of what happened in Year 8 art class.
30. Abandoned Stag Do - Arrange a set time and date (or perhaps even airport…), and create the illusion you’ve all managed to forget, leaving your plucky stag to drink alone in an overpriced departure bar lounge. To make up for it, have an even better weekend organized for the following. But for God’s sake, don’t forget to do this part!
Pro -shows your ingenuity and organisation skills.
Con - means you have to use your ingenuity and organisation skills.
A note on stag do pranks and safety
Remember the saying that it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye? Yeah, well, that.
If you’re planning on pulling a stag night prank remember that you’re the ones that it falls to to make sure the groom doesn’t die. Not only will you be legally responsible, you’ll also be morally responsible
Get your Stag T Shirts or Stag Polo Shirts Ordered
Buy your Stag T Shirts or Polo Shirts Now or checkout www.ukstagtshirts.co.uk for a great range of fun designs
The best websites for your stag t shirts
Call Now for a fast free quote for all your stag t shirt needs 01706 667539 or 0785 111 3436
www.mushytshirts.co.uk We do fancy dress and stag accessories too !
www.ukstagtshirts.co.uk 50 odd stag t shirt designs avail;able in all styles from t shirts to polo shirts and rugby and football shirts for your stag weekend
www.stagtshirtdesign.co.uk Great website for stag party and lads holiday t shirts
Dont forget the Hens and their Hen Party T Shirts or you might catch a bollocking
www.ukhentshirts.co.uk Superb range of hen t shirt designs and styles and colours available.
Got a better idea? Let us know and if you want to send us pictures of your stag-do t-shirts we might just be able to rustle up a prize for the best one…
Email - info@mushytshirts.co.uk
